Personal Musings of a Latter-day Saint with Asperger's Syndrome

Nobody is Coming

Nobody is coming to save me.

Say it again.

Nobody is coming to save me.

Again…

Nobody is coming to save me.

I have to save myself.

Not in the eternal sense—I can’t even begin to do that—but where my life is concerned, I need to take complete, 100% responsibility for my well-being.

Nobody can make me happy.

Nobody can “fix” me or kiss my problems away.

I have no right to expect anybody to make things all better.  That is asking the impossible of them.

Nobody can reach inside my heart or mind and push a button that will make all of my problems go away.  There is no button, and even if there were, I would be the only one with access to that.  Complaining to others won’t help, either.  All it will do will drive them away.

Even God isn’t responsible to make things better.  He will help me with what I can’t do for myself, but even then the ultimate responsibility rests with myself.

I can read books and blogs and articles and listen to audiobooks and lectures and podcasts that will help, but only if I do what I learn.  Books of themselves won’t do it for me.  I have to do it.

What can I do?

  • Think critically for myself about what others have said—yes, even people at church (especially people at church).
  • Realize my absolute responsibility to make things better.  That means 100%.
  • Be patient with myself if progress seems slow, or even imperceptible.
  • Meditate 15 minutes every day to calm my mind and increase my mental flexibility, so that I can become more aware of my options.
  • Exercise every day to improve my mood.
  • Journal regularly, just as I am doing now.
  • Remember that I cannot jump directly from a telestial level to a celestial level; I can only get there via the terrestrial level of self-mastery and of being the master of my fate and the captain of my soul.  Once I have control of my self, then I can surrender it to God, and not until.
  • See my friends and family as people with their own needs and feelings, rather than merely as objects or resources to get what I need.
  • Stop using the concept of trusting in God as an excuse to not take responsibility.  God is not responsible to do for me what I can do for myself.  Just as some people say “follow the prophet” in order to avoid the hard work of thinking for themselves, I tend to say “trust in God” to avoid the hard work of doing for myself.

Is God all-loving and all-powerful?  Absolutely.  Will God come to my rescue because I’m being lazy and don’t want to take care of myself?  Not at all.  I’m on my own journey, and it is by necessity (and design) a solitary one.  I am responsible for my own growth.

 

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